Good Morning, Stumpers!

Happy Friday folks, we are fully back when it comes to College Football. Some fun games yesterday and LOADED slate this weekend! We’ve got a few different things for you today. We’ve got the Micah Parsons Blockbuster trade, a 4 HR game, and a look at an NBA superstar well before stardom! Fun Stump for you, let’s dance!

The Rundown

🎥 NBA Superstar as an extra in a film?

⚾️ Kyle SchwarBOMB hits 4 HRs in one game!

🧀 Parsons to the Packers in BLOCKBUSTER trade!

🏈 WE ARE SOOOOO BACK!

On This Day

💉 Armstrong is Stripped

If you were alive before this day in 2012, you quickly could respond to the question of who the greatest cyclist of all time is. That answer? Lance Armstrong.

On this day in 2012, however, that answer changed. The USADA claimed to have stripped Lance Armstrong of his seven Tour de France titles due to their doping policies. Armstrong has since been basically shunned from the cycling world, so more than one reason. But his initial steroid use was what started the downhill spiral.

Today’s Trivia

Glue Guy of the Day

🎥 Credited as ‘Neighbor’s Kid’

It’s Friday, I think it’s only right to share something funny that came across our desk this week that all Stump readers need to know. Take a look at this image above…what do you see?

I guess the better question is rather, Who?!

Yup, that would be 2x NBA MVP, 1x NBA Champion, and NBA Finals MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo. At 16 years old when he was in Greece, alongside his mom they got roles as extras in the 2012 drama Dead Europe.

You can watch the 35 second clip here

To be completely honest with you, this might be a serious moment in the show, but just knowing how much of a joker Giannis is, I can’t help but chuckle when I see him in this scene.

If you know about the story of Giannis, growing up, his family did not have a lot of money. Him alongside his brother, Thanasis, would sell things on the streets of Athens to help support their family. This was likely another part-time gig that helped as well.

Not to go on some deep philosophical tangent here, but I’ve been thinking about the idea of how much we in society today care about what others think of us. I’m not saying I am not in this circle, I’m definitely a victim of this too, but that’s just natural I guess.

Here, in a time of need, even if was just two silly lines in a movie, Giannis didn’t care what others would say about him. He did what he had to do. Maybe I’m reaching here, but that’s pretty cool.

Anyway, I’ll end by saying this: Maybe this weekend all of us do one thing that is just for ourselves, something we wouldn’t typically do because of ‘what others would say’. Will report back on Monday! Seriously, think of something you’ve been wanting to do and attack it like a kid just stole your Doritos in 1st grade!

Phew, anyways…Enjoy a fun fun weekend of college football! We are SOOOO BACK!

The BIG Moments

🧀 Parsons-Packers BLOCKBUSTER!

The Stump Short Story: Well, there she goes! And by she I mean Micah Parsons. Can’t call this one shocking, but part of me still thought that there was some sort of rekindling that was going to happen between Parsons and the Cowboys, but there was no spark at all. Both Parsons and Jerry Jones seemed tired of each other, and now Parsons signs a 4-year, $188M deal with Green Bay 7 days away from the start of the 2025 NFL Season. The Cowboys in return are getting 2-first round picks and DT Kenny Clark. This contract is the highest annual salary for a Non-QB in NFL history!

Why it Matters: When a blockbuster player like this moves to a team that has a shot at the conference, the needle moves for sure. The Packers are by no means the favorite, but behind their young QB and now superstar defensive talent, they have what it takes to make a deep postseason run. Cowboys fans, I’m sorry, bright side is Dak and CeeDee are both healthy, let’s see what the offense has on Thursday!

Read More: Parsons traded to Packers with a record breaking contract (ESPN)

⚾️ SchwarBOMBBBB! 4 HR Game!

The Stump Short Story: If you looked at some MLB box scores from last night, you might have seen the 19-4 drubbing that the Phillies put on the Braves. If you left that game for a bathroom break, there’s a good chance that you missed a Kyle Schwarber Home Run. That would be because he hit FOUR of them! FOUR! He became the 21st player in MLB history to accomplish the feat, and the 3rd this year after Eugenio Suarez and rookie Nick Kurtz both did the impossible.

Why it Matters: Before this season, nobody has done this since 2017, and now it has happened three times in a single season. Not quite sure what’s been in the water this season, but some of these sluggers have just been seeing the ball well this year. One extra piece for you, in the 8th inning Schwarber came up to the plate with a chance to become the first player in MLB history to hit FIVE Home Runs! Didn’t cash in there, but maybe it’s coming!

Read More: Kyle Schwarber ties MLB-record with 4 HRs in One Game (CBS Sports)

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🔗 Quick Links

🏈 This is why we play the game!

⚾️ The 4th SCHWAR-BOMB from tonight! UNREAL!

🏈 BOWLING GREEN MADNESS to start off the season!

🎾 Osaka weighing in on the Townsend-Ostapenko sitch

What To Watch

⚾️ MLB Weekend Series’ for all of us to enjoy:

• Pirates @ Red Sox, Braves @ Phillies, Brewers @ Blue Jays, Mariners @ Guardians, Padres @ Twins, Diamondbacks @ Dodgers

🎾 Don’t let all of this college football distract you from the fact that the US Open is in full swing (literally). Check out the results and match schedule here

🏈 Massive College Football slate! Here’s the biggest of the big:

• Saturday: (1) Texas @ (3) Ohio State (12:00 PM), (8) Alabama @ Florida State (3:30 PM), (9) LSU @ (4) Clemson (7:30 PM)

• Sunday: (6) Notre Dame @ (10) Miami U

Of! The! Day’s!

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